Title: Theory / Unimportant / Human / The Feeling Good Handbook
Tags: the-feeling-good-handbook

Question: What is the premise of The Feeling Good Handbook?
Answer: One can defeat depression by changing the negative thinking patterns that cause it
Page: xxv

Question: What are the two goals of The Feeling Good Handbook?
Answer: To change the way you feel.
Answer2: To make you accept yourself as you are.

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of sadness or depression?
Answer: Thoughts of loss: a romantic rejection, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the failure to achieve an important personal goal.

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of  guilt or shame?
Answer: You believe that you've hurt someone or that you've failed to live up to your own moral standards.  Guil results from self-condemnation, whereas shame involves the fear that you'll lose face when others find out about what you did.

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of anger, irritation, annoyance, or resentment?
Answer: You feel that someone is treating you unfairly or trying to take advantage of you.

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of frustration?
Answer: Life falls short of your expectations.  You insist that things should be different.  It might be your own performance ("I shouldn't have made that mistake"), what someone else does ("He should've been on time!"), or an event ("Why does the traffic always slow down when I'm in a hurry?").

Question: What thoughts lead to anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness, or panic?
Answer: You believe you're in danger because you think something bad is about to happen
Example: "What if the plane crashes?" "What if my mind goes blank when I give my talk in front of all those people?" "What if this chest pain is the start of a heart attack?"

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of inferiority or inadequacy?
Answer: You compare yourself to others and conclude that you're not as good as they are because you're not as talented, attractive, charming, successful, intelligent. "She's really got what it takes.  She's so cute.  All the men are chasing her.  I'm just average.  There's nothing special about me."

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of loneliness?
Answer: You tell yourself that you're bound to feel unhapy because you're alone and you aren't getting enough love and attention from others.

Question: What thoughts lead to feelings of hopelessnes or discouragement?
Answer: You feel convinced that your problems will go on forever and that things will never improve.  "I'll never get over this depression," or "I just can't lose weight and keep it off," or "I'll never find a good job," or "I'll be alone forever."

Question: What is all-or-nothing thinking?
Answer: You see things in black-or-white categories.  If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure.  When a young woman on a diet ate a spoonful of ice cream, she told herself, "I've blown my diet completely." This thought upset her diet so much that she gobbled down an entire quart of ice cream!

Question: What is the 'overgeneralization' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as "always" or "never  when you think about it.  A depressed salesman became terribly upset when he noticed bird dung on the windshield of his car.  He told himself, "Just my luck! Birds are always crapping on my car!"

Question: What is the 'mental filter' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your vision of all of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of water.  Example: you receive many positive comments about your presentation to a group of associates at work, but one of them says something mildly critical.  You obsess about his reaction for days and ignore all the positive feedback.

Question: What is the 'discounting the positive' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well. Discounting the positive takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.

Question: What is the 'jumping to conclusions' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.
Mind reading: Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you.
Fortune-telling: You predict that things will turn out badly.  Before a test you may tell yourself, "I'm really going to blow it.  What if I flunk?" If you're depressed you may tell yourself,  "I'll never get better."

Question: What is the 'magnification' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you minimize the importance of your desirable qualities.  This is also called the "binocular trick."

Question: What is the 'emotional reasoning' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel terrified about going on airplanes.  It must be very dangerous to fly." Or "I feel guilty.  I must be a rotten person." Or "I feel angry.  This proves I'm being treated unfairly." Or "I  feel so inferior.  This means I'm a second-rate person."  Or "I feel hopeless. I must really be hopeless."

Question: What is the "Should statements" form of twisted thinking?
Answer: You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be.  After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, "I shouldn't have made so many mistakes." This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days.  "Musts," "oughts" and "have tos" are similar offenders.
Should statements  that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration.  Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general lead to anger and frustration: "He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative."
Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if they were delinquents who had to be punished before the could be expected to do anything.  "I shouldn't eat that doughnut." This usually doesn't work because all these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just the opposite.  Dr. Albert Ellis has called this "musterbation." I call it the "shouldy" approach to life.

Question: What is the 'labeling' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking.  Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you attach a negative label to yourself: "I'm a loser." You might also label yourself "a fool" or a "a failure" or "a jerk." Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as what you do.  Human beings exist, but "fools," "losers," and "jerks" do not.  These labels are just useless abstractions that lead to anger, anxiety, frustration, and low self-esteem.
You may also label others.  When someone does something that rubs you the wrong way, you may tell yourself: "He's an S.O.B." Then you feel that the problem is with that person's "character" or "essence" instead of with their thinking or behavior. You see them as totally bad.  This makes you feel hostile and hopeless about improving things and leaves little room for constructive communication.

Question: What is the 'personalization and blame' form of twisted thinking?
Answer: Personalization occurs when you hold yourself personally responsible for an event that isn't entirely under your control.
Example: When a woman received a note that her child was having difficulties at school, she told herself, "This shows what a bad mother I am," instead of trying to pinpoint the cause of the problem so that she could be helpful to her child.  When another woman't husband beat her, she told herself, "IUf only I were better in bed, he wouldn't beat me." Personalization leads to guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy.
Some people do the opposite.  They blame other people or their circumstances for their problems, and they overlook ways that they might be contributing to the problem: "The reason my marriage is so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable." Blame usually doesn't work very well because other people will resent being scapegoated and they will just toss the blame right back in your lap.  It's like the game of hot potato--no one wants to get stuck with it.

Question: Are your moods caused by external events?
Answer: No: your thoughts, and not external events, create your moods.

Question: How are negative thoughts and negative emotions related?
Answer: Specific kinds of negative thoughts cause specific kinds of negative emotions.  For example, the belief that you are in danger will make you anxious or frightened.

Question: Are the negative thoughts that make you depressed, anxious, guilty, angry, or frustrated accurate and realistic?
Answer: No, such thoughts are frequently distorted and  unrealistic, even though they may seem absolutely valid.

Question: What is the first step in breaking out of a bad mood?
Answer: Recognizing the vital connections between your thoughts and your emotions is the first step in breaking out of a bad mood.

Name: Identify the distortion
Definition: Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you're involved in.  This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realisic way.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: Examine the evidence
Definition: Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: The Double-Standard Method
Definition: Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: The experimental technique
Definition: Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during the episode of panic, you become terrified that you're about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: Thinking in shades of gray
Definition: Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, evaluate things on a range of 0 to 100. When things dont work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: The survey method
Definition: Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: Define terms
Definition: When you label yourself "inferior" or "a fool" or "a loser," ask, "What is the definition of a 'fool'?  You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as a "fool" or a "loser."
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: The semantic method
Definition: Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for "should statements." Instead of telling yourself "I shouldn't have made that mistake," you can say, "It would be better if I hadn't made that mistake."
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: Re-attribution
Definition: Instead of automatically assuming that you are "bad  and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: Cost-benefit analysis
Definition: List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like "No matter how hard I try, I always screw up"), or a behavior pattern (like overating and lying around in bed when you're depressed). You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, "I must always try to be perfect."
Context: Ten ways to untwist your thinking

Name: All or Nothing
Definition: Dans cette distortion, les choses sont soient parfaites, soient absolument pourries. Penser en nuances aide beaucoup à s'en débarasser.
Example: À partir d'une revue positive avec une unique critique négative, penser qu'il faut tout effacer

Name: Overgeneralization
Definition: En voyant un seul example ou annecdote, on en tire une règle génerale
Extra: Hasty generalization supposes multiple elements

Name: Discounting the positive
Definition: L'on justifie comment les évenements positifs ne sont si pas positifs que ca
Example: tu dis ça pour me faire plaisir

Name: Mental Filter
Definition: L'on ignore complètement les évenements positifs, en cherry pickant les énevements que l'on considère.

Name: Emotional reasoning
Definition: Raisonnement sur son intuition en parlant en terme flou, souvent en utilisant "se sentir" là ou ce n'est pas cnv
Example: "Je me sens pas à ma place", "Je me sens ignoré"

Name: Should
Definition: Une injonction à soi même en se disant que l'on doit conformer à un certain modèle.

Name: Fortune Teller Error
Definition: On se base sur de mauvais prior sans raison. L'on suppose que les choses vont mal se passer alors qu'elles se sont toujours bien passé jusque là par exemple.

Name: Mind Reading
Definition: L'on donne une raison spécifique aux actions d'autrui ("Il ne m'a pas dis bonjour parce qu'il me deteste"), alors qu'en réalité, il y a milles explications differentes possibles à ses actions

Name: Labelling
Definition: On donne une étiquette à soi ou aux autres ("Je suis nul", "il est con"), ce qui mène au jugement et empèche de voir l'action en tant que tel.
Context: feeling good

Name: Personalization
Definition: On approprie un évenement exterieur à notre propre faute. Si quelqu'un s'est suicidé, on dira "je l'ai tué", si j'ai organisé un pique-nique le week-end et qu'il pleut, je dirais "j'ai tout gaché".

Question: Example of all or nothing qui n'est pas une généralization
Answer: À partir d'une revue positive avec une unique critique négative, penser qu'il faut tout effacer

Name: Montre à poignet
Definition: Petit dispositif à porter sur soi, sur lequel appuyer pour compter un truc

Name: TIR
Definition: Thanks
Definition2: Important
Definition3: Relativiser

Name: Thanks
Definition: Remercier la personne de son point, auquel je n'avais peut-être pas pensé.
Context: TIR TCC

Name: Important
Definition: Noter que ce point à son importance. Que c'est une considération qui a un certain impact
Context: TIR TCC

Name: Relativiser
Definition: Dire que mes propres propos sont à prendre en certaines mesures de ses considérations, qu'il faudra encore du temps pour creuser l'impact
Context: TIR TCC

Question: Que faire si quelqu'un insiste sur un point sans intérêt
Answer: TIR,
Context: TCC
Answer2: puis passer à autre chose

Name: Double column technique
Definition: Faire une première colomne avec les sentiments qui m'embête. Demander «si c'était vrai», mettre la réponse en 1ère colomne et ainsi de suite
Definition2: Dans la 2ème colomne, répondre rationnellement à chaque élément de la 1ère
Conjdef: Dans cet ordre

Name: Daily logs
Definition: Avant de dormir, se poser, et prévoir la journée de demain heure pour heure, en prévoyant combien cela va me plaire et/ou combien je vais y arriver. À la fin de la journée, ou durant, marquer ce que j'ai fais réelement, ainsi que mon degrès de plaisir et/ou de maitrise.

Name: But list
Definition: À partir d'une pensée, si dire «mais y a ça qui m'en empêche», puis reconsiderer ce qui en empêche, récursivement, jusqu'à voir ce qui bloque réellement ou le faire

Name: Would I think differently
Definition: Si je réalise que je n'arrete pas d'attendre un évenement particulier pour "être heureux", alors je peux fermer les yeux et me demander ce qu'il se passerait si je l'avais. Par exemple, si je me dis que mon seul problème dans la vie, c'est le fait que l'on ne puisse pas modifier son corps, s'immaginer pleinement
Page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_RAID_levels

Question: Différence entre "Discounting the Positive" et "Mental Filter"
Answer: Discounting the Positive déforme les évenements en leurs donnant d'autres explications de pourquoi c'est pas révelant ("N'importe qui aurait pu le faire").